Nursing: Should Nurses Care for Family Members?

Nurses should care about family members

Should nurses care for family members? Obviously, family members need nursing care at times, too.

It is not considered a good idea for nurses to nurse their own family members, though they may be highly qualified and able to do so. This becomes a matter of personal preference, but doing so, may not be the wisest decision by a nurse or a patient. Most nurses are aware they can be placed in precarious situations, when they take on the responsibility of nursing other family members. This kind of a scenario does not always work out well for either nurses or family members, who are patients.

One should not state that nurses cannot be involved with what is happening in regard to the nursing care of family members. Involvement is an excellent idea, when there are serious medical concerns, but sometimes involvement can be far more effective, when it is from a distance.

A nurse may be able to draw from his or her own previous nursing experience and expertise, in order to help a family member, who has become a patient. Many times, the nurse's knowledge can be of tremendous benefit to both the patient and other family members. It is not always welcomed or accepted by them.

This kind of knowledge can be applicable, when the nurse is functioning in an advisory capacity and does not attempt to assume the role of primary caregiver. A nurse can function effectively in a counseling role. When the patient requests assistance, then, it may be appropriate. Nursing care and counseling should not be imposed upon family members.

Consider the following issues and concerns that may arise, when a nurse attempts to function in the role of a primary care giver for a family member, who becomes a patient in need of nursing care.

Professional ethics:

Professionals, in any field of endeavor, are advised to seek other qualified professionals to care for their own family members. The reason for this is that a high level of personal involvement with a family member may affect a person's judgment.

For example, a doctor would be advised to seek another doctor to care for his or her own family members. When a doctor's child needs surgery, another doctor should be called to do the operation. A doctor attempting to perform surgery on his own child, may have difficulty performing that operation.

A lawyer would be advised to seek another lawyer to handle the legal affairs of his or her family members. For example, a son who is a lawyer would not take care of his father's divorce.

As a medical professional, a nurse would be advised to seek another nurse to function as the nurse or primary care giver for other family members.

It is a matter of professional ethics.

Privacy and confidentiality:

Privacy and confidentiality are serious concerns in nursing. Nurses may be aware of major, medical issues with regard to their family members, but this is not always the case. They may not be fully aware of the extent of every current medical issue or concern.

As a matter of personal preference, a family member requiring nursing care may prefer not to have his or her full medical history disclosed to someone, who is a nurse in his or her family.

For example, a father might not want his daughter who is a nurse, to know that he has had medical problems, related to his previous marriage. Effective nursing care may require the full disclosure of these kinds of medical concerns. Not having access to essential medical information could affect the quality of nursing care given to the father. The father is entitled to privacy and confidentiality.

Familial issues:

While nurses are aware of most of the familial concerns in their own families, they may not be completely aware of what is happening, in any particular situation. A patient requiring nursing care may not want a nurse who is a member of his or her family, to become involved with what his happening in his or her personal life, particularly when there are other, more immediate family members, like a spouse or adult children in his or her family.

For example, a grandparent may not want issues like finances, long term nursing care or estate planning related to these medical concerns, disclosed to a nurse, who is his grandchild. These issues should be dealt with by his immediate family members, instead. For example, his wife, son or daughter, may be able to take care of this, more effectively.

Emotional concerns:

When nurses attempt to care for family members, there can be intense emotional involvement. This should not affect the level of nursing care from a nurse's perspective, but it could for various reasons.

Nurses are well trained and know how to treat family members with dignity, respect and love. Nurses know how fragile life can be. A family member in need of nursing care may not have had that same kind of training. As a result, emotional outbursts by the patient, resulting from illness-related fear and frustration, anger and aggression, can lead to conflict or other serious consequences.

Nurses are trained not to become emotionally involved with patients. This can be difficult, particularly when there is a major illness or injury. Family members love one another and do not like to see them suffer. It can be a painful experience for them.

Nurses are taught to practice empathy, rather than sympathy. Empathy involves distancing oneself from the patient, in order to care for the patient properly, while sympathy entails emotional involvement with the patient and whatever is happening in his or her life.

For example, a nurse is confronted with the reality that her father is dying. She has been the center of attention for most of his life. She goes through severe emotional trauma and is devastated by what is happening. She dreads the thought of losing him to cancer. She can give him palliative care, but she knows that she cannot save his life. Her mother and the rest of the family may think that because she is a nurse, she can save his life.

Personality conflicts:

Most families experience personality conflicts between family members. Everyone is different though family members may have things in common.

Nurses are independent people, who invariably can and will assume authority, when necessary. They are well trained with respect to handling emergency situations. They are also sensitive and caring people, who have strong personalities. They have learned how to be caregivers and willingly assume the responsibility for others. Other family members may not have learned to be caregivers to anyone but themselves, or may not take care of themselves properly. They may have only learned how to be recipients of care. They may be focused on themselves. They may not be appreciative of the nursing care given to them or the degree of concern demonstrated by the nurse, although he or she is a family member. Because nurses are family members, many of them are expected to provide free care for all family members.

No family member wants another family member, even a nurse, to assume authority over his or her life. Personal jealousy and sibling rivalry may enter into the picture, as well. Many times, estate settlement issues can arise.

Family members often make many inappropriate demands upon a nurse, who is a family member.

Potential legal problems or lawsuits:

Nursing, like any other kind of profession, is a vulnerable realm with regard to potential legal problems and lawsuits. A nurse, who is also a family member, can be vulnerable to other family members with regard to legal issues related to medical care.

When a family member is ill or terminally ill, there is increased stress in any family. The tension levels may be high, at times. Often, family members do not understand what has been done, is being done or has to be done by the nurse, in order to give appropriate nursing care to a patient.

Family members may question the care that is given when the nursing care is given by a family member. They may not understand nursing priorities or question the judgment of the nurse with respect to treatment, more advanced nursing care or various procedures that must be carried out.

In terms of dollars and cents, family members see nurses, who are family members, as being independently wealthy. A lawsuit is one way to obtain money, when a nurse who is a family member, becomes the primary caregiver. Unfortunately, not all families or family members, base what they say or do on ethical principals.

Family members do not like to be advised of the nature of another family member's illness, even by a nurse, who is a family member. The first reaction to a serious illness may be anger, total denial or rejection of the diagnosis. In time, the family members have to face reality, but in the meantime, they may have done serious damage to the reputation and the career of the nurse.

Due to serious misunderstandings or the misguided quest for financial gain, nurses who are family members, can become targets of other family members, with respect to class action law suits. This should not happen, but family members can err in their judgment, too.

In conclusion, a nurse, who is a family member, should make certain that a family member is properly cared for, but allow the primary care to be administered by another nurse. There are going to be exceptions, but each situation is unique, as are families and family members.

A good rule of thumb is that nurses should not nurse family members, other than in exceptional circumstances, but should always care about them and seek to help them, when it is appropriate.